My God Arbie, you're the best dry humper in school!
Thanks Wendy, that's what guys on the basketball team say.
One minute ...
Who else have you been dry humping?
Are you sure it's safe to be out here, all alone in the middle of the night?
Absolutely! Heck, no ones been out here...
since those horny teens were decapitated back in '84.
Wendy relax! We're young, w w we're drunk...
We're High school graduates!
This is the most romantic night of our lives!
Why can't I... W..I ?
Ooooh ... Don't cry. You'll figure to out.
It's not the bra ...
It's you're ditching me for college.
And the bra a little ...
I'm not ditching you, Arbie.
And I think you should come with me
You still have time to register
Wendy, my mom's a retarded and my dad is blind.
How am I suppose to take care of them if I'm off somewhere getting smart?
Do not worry, Arbie
Even though I'll surrounded by spoiled trust fund kids...
Who have guaranteed 6 figure jobs waiting for them at their daddies...
companies after they Graduate ...
It will never change me!
I'll stay true to you...
I promise!
Be gentle this is my first time.
Oh, Arbie! The earth is moving for me!
Oh, Arbie! Your hands are all over me like an octopus!
Oh Wendy, It's as if you're Arm-b-dexterous or something!
Arbie! Take me!
Oh Wendy! I never knew love could be so beautiful and so pure!
He has something in his hand!
Holy shit an ax!
No ...
the other hand ...
OH, GROSS!
Wendy don't be such a prude, ya know. Think of it as a compliment!
I'm going home.
Wendy wait, Wendy!
What an incredible woman!
Thanks a lot dude!
Arbie ...
Ouuuh ... Arbie ...
I want to fuck your fanny!
You suck you corporate punk!
Fuck you all!
Hey!
What happened to the ancient Tromahawk tribe sacred Indian burial ground...
that that use to be here?
They bulldozed it...
and replaced it with another one of those fast food restaurants.
What do we want?
That conglomerates demonic stop ...
To destroy our ... beloved homeland ...
By replacing the majesty ... of our landscapes ...
For places ... consumption stupid!
When do we want?
Now!
Or at least the next 3 years ...
According to the decree ... the minority shares ...
... Laid down in Section 16b ...
... From the Stock Exchange Act ...
... In real estate value of 1932 ...
... And to get millions of dollars!
Hey, Brendan!
Arbie what's up!?
Hey dude, look at those girls making out in protest!
Great! I love the blue it is too good!
Wendy?
Arbie!
Wendy what are you doing here?
I'm protesting this disgusting abomination...
of chicken genocide
Built on this ancient Tromaville...
sacred native American Indian
burial ground.
What are you doing?
I'm a... I'm doing the same thing!
Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you !
Honey, I missed you!
And if picked up right where we left off...
I know this pervert free graveyard
And look!
I brought our old butt plug!
Listen, Arbie ...
This is the famous Arbie?
Smell familiar?
Yes OK, I'm getting hints of patchouli oil.
She's my girl now!
Wendy you said college would never change you!
Arbie, College is all about...
broadening your horizons and experimentation
For instance...
Would Jacob Marinsky
have ever discovered promethium element 61
If it wasn't for experimentation?
Jacob Marinsky co-discovered Promethium element 61...
While doing defense related activity...
In Oakridge, Tennessee ...
Not becoming a lesbian in college!
You said you'd never change...
But here you are just Bumpin' Tacos!
That promise is broken...
Like your nose!
and a lot more noses are going to get flattened around here...
If this travesty isn't removed...
My peoples land immediately!
Your people? I don't see any Native Americans around here?
I see a bunch of white people in Tivas!
We've got a Native American around here...
Somebody find Chief What's-his-face!
Are you offended about the restaurant?
See. Doesn't seem so upset to me does he?
See he is upset!
Come on! I know your type...!
You're a fraud!
You don't care about the Chief....
I'll show you...
and you.
And you!
What did I do?
I do not know, You just look like a dick.
Move it fatty!
When I rolled out of bed today...
little did I know Wendy was gay...
She dumped me for some hippie HO-O-OE.
With hairy pits and studded nose...
She eats a snatch just like a pro...
In a Jenna Jameson like Dyke porno.
A Femi-Nazi with no bra...
She will forbid a Ménage à trois...
With some 2 inch man meat like moi.
that cunt faced double dildo thief...
Don't know that rubber cocks can't make true queef...
I'll show them ...
Where's the beef!
You elitists asshole...
Full of shit.
I think I'll do the opposite.
If Wendy and her broad protest with this mob...
I think I'll go inside and get myself a job.
As Jesus said as he died...
Yo Bizatch! Revenge is a dish...
best served fried!
She will see my cash increasing...
My pole she'll want to be greasing...
With these hairy balls...
she will never play...
"But I love you Arbie" she will say....
Then I'll go "Sorry Hun, now I'm gay"
As the prophet Mohamed said before he died...
NIGGA PLEASE THIS MY SHIT...
REVENGE!
is a dish best served fried.
¿Qué está pasando?
You are the manager?
You know it!
Denny's the name...
fast food franchise is my game!
That and hungry hungry Hippos.
Give me a job!
I am a high school graduate
Just..just tryin' to make his way in this Topsy-Turvy world.
My life..it sucks!
My parents are retards...
and my one true love...
is a Left-wing Lipstick Lesbo Liberal.
OK, you're hired!
Arbie, this here is our new cook.
This here is Hamas.
It's not Hamas!
It's Humus.
like the dish, Humus!
I swear sometimes I get so angry ...
I just want to explode!
Metaphorically speaking of course!
Now, if you excuse me...
See where that affirmative action gets ya!
I'll be watching you...
Al Jazeera.
I'll be watching you like CNN.
Now Paco Bell, show Arbie here...
how we make the Generals "secret" 2 herb chicken.
But I am going to die ...
Hey Denny...
Is it normal for chickens that have been...
Dead and frozen for weeks...
to scream in excruciating pain like that?!
Hell Arbie, that wasn't a scream...
that was just and air pocket...
burstin' and um...
beggin' for help.
Anyway...
Movin' on...
This low-life Hillbilly piece of Trailer Trash shit here...
This is... Carl Junior!
I know Arbie
We was on the debatin' team in high school together.
That's right!
I was anti-bestiality and he was pro.
And look at you two now.
What the Hell happened to the...
100% USDA grade tolerable chicken...
we thawd out for today.
And who put these mysterious...
vein covered, pulsating eggs in this box?
Well don't just stand thereCarl...
Get off your ass and gone on and get some more chicken.
And Paco...
Would take those mysterious, pulsating, vein covered eggs...
and gone on and put them with the breakfast food.
Let's go people! This place has got to work.
This is my Grandmama's money we're talkin' about.
And if this place tanks, well then I'll be workin fast food...
like all of you Jack-Offs!
Well what do I do?
You're the Counter girl.
Counter girl??
Just a little nickname we have here at ACB.
Cool!
I'll get your a skirt
alright now...
heads up back there everybody.
We'll be opening up in five,
4,
3,
2,
and 1!
We are opened for buisness!
Don't you worry now...
This place will be flooded...
with people comin' by the car load.
Any second now!
You fools!
You fools!!
You fools!!!
You fools!!!!
This restaurant was built on...
On ancient Tromahawk tribe...
sacred indian burial ground!
Get out while you still can! Get out!
Save yoursleves! Save yourselves!
Um, I will have a Sloppy José Value meal.
And please substitute the cola with a Cluck-work Orange.
Thank You.
Hey...
Aren't you the guy that lost all that weight...
eating fast food hero sandwiches?
Jared right?
Wow! You are such an inspiration.
And you kept the weight off!
How did you do it?
It's all about moderation my boy.
Now you get me that low-fat, suasage flavored, chicken... meal
With the General's low-carb mashed potatoes!
And don't you even think of skimping...
on the General's all soy gravy.
You got it Jared.
Guys I need you to "Pork" a chicken...
And don't hold pack on the protien gravy.
Ei, Ei, CALIENTE!
Heads up, Humus!
Gravy!
Potatoes and gravy!
Wow, Jared ..
Bathroom?!
Where?!
NOW?!
Way to go Jared!
Good gravy!
I would like ...
Are you working here, just to upset me?
How could you leave me for Sappho B. Anthony out there?
Do you hear this?
Jared in bathroom- "Oh I can't stop shitting"
That's the sound of my aching heart.
Today is not about us.
Look at the atrocities American Chicken Bunker
perform on the chickens you serve...
the ignorant masses!
I have your ass on fire!
I am a geyser ...
A geyser of shit ...
So I'm sure...
that after hearing all this information...
Everyone here will realize...
it is wrong to eat any...
type of meat.
Where is the toilet paper?
- Wendy!
Becarefu!
He's Dangerous!
He might try to serve you some...
Fried artery clogging flesh!
At least I'm man enough to have a job...
and support my family...
at $ 3.50 an hour!
I mean what are you doing besides trying...
to bring down a successful busines man...
like General Lee Roy?
By attacking the General...
You are attacking America!
Yes!
My people!
America!
The only other place in the world...
Besides France, Canada...
The Czech Republic and outer Mongolia.
Where a rank and file member...
of the Georgia Chapter KKK
can rise above his humble up-bring...
and becaome President and CEO...
one of the world's most largest and powerful corporations.
So tell me, Micki
What are you doing...
besides trying to bring down America!
U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
Baby Killer!
Wait, Wendy!
There's a lot of bad blood between us.
We should be making love...
not war.
You're right
You know it baby!
Now eat my meat...
You Vegan whores!
Hi, Arbie!
Arbie!
Oh Wendy!
Oh Micki's on my radar!
here comes the heat seeking moister missle!
Arbie!
I was ...
I was just thinking about the poor...
chickens, that's all.
I'm sorry but ... Arbie
How could I ever love someone...
who wants me to eat cock!
Oh my poor ass!
What was that?
Oh, I have to shit
My God! What Hell was that?
There's somebody in my stomach...
get out of my belly!
I got to get off this toilet!
Jared, are you alright?
- Oh my God!
I'm skinny!
Yip yip yahoo! - Jared?
Denny ...
Dennnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyy!
- What is it now Arbie boy...
Oh, shit!
The guy who did this is gone!
He just disappeared!
Well would you stick around to apologize...
if you shit up a bathroom this bad Arbie!
God Damned Honkies!
They're always waitin' for the Black man to clean up thier mess.
You see Arbie the same shit happened in Vietnam!
The white man thought the yellow man was turnin' red...
So he sent the Black man in to clean up his mess, Arbie!
WELL GOD DAMMIT ARBIE...
I AIN'T DOIN' THIS SHIT THIS TIME!!
Why not?
BECAUSE YOU'RE DOIN' IT!
NOW YOU TAKE THIS MOTHER FUCKIN' MOP...
AND GET TO IT!
All these fried chicken wings I'm serving...
they make me yurn for your breast, legs and thighs.
My hunger for you is unswerving...
Without you, my heart starves and dies.
All these protests and speeches I'm making...
To end chicken suffering and slaughter...
His ony response is that I'm faking...
that I'm gay ...
like daughter of Dick Cheney's daughter...
My meat in your buns makes such special sauce...
Gay seems my way to quote Robert Frost.
could be nostalgia for all that is lost...
could it be our love is star crossed?
I sure miss getting my salad tossed.
You are my fries and you're shake makes me shiver...
You're a happy meal sent from above...
can this drive-thru called life deliver...
a heavenly slow fast food love.
Since that night all I have is self-pleasure.
Bumping uglies real hard we did grind.
with tissue and hand cream I try to remember...
how you stuck this thing ...
how you stuck this thing up my rear ender...
with my partner in bed I am yurning...
to feel pleasure and passion that's true
But only thoughts of you keep me burning...
Memeories of your meat make me stew...
If hearts were like chickens, yours I'd defrost.
to reclaim true love what is the cost...
could be nostalgia for all that is lost...
could it be our love is star crossed?
I sure miss getting my salad tossed.
You are my fries and you're shake makes me shiver...
You're a happy meal sent from above...
can this drive-thru called life deliver...
a heavenly slow fast food love.
could be nostalgia for all that is lost...
could it be our love is star crossed?
I sure miss getting my salad tossed.
You are my fries and you're shake makes me shiver...
You're a happy meal sent from above...
can this drive-thru called life deliver...
a heavenly slow...
fast food love.
heavenly slow...
fast food love.
General...
It's a...a pleasure to meet you sir.
I've been waitin' for this moment for a looong time now General sir I...
Thank you, Thank you, Danny....
I appreciate that, Thank you.
That's a... Denny.
That's... good for you.
Good Mornin' Tromaville!
Y'all look lovely!
Ha Ha Ha!
Hippies? Protesters?
Open experssion of political thoughts!
We will never rest...
while big buisness tramples over...
The rich history and culture of the Native Americans...
While simultamiously slaughtering...
Countless...
Innocent...
Chickens!
Now ho ho, settle down there young man.
Settle down now!
The General has has provided...
ample accomodations...
For your displaced...
Dead...Red men.
They have gone to a better place.
All I want to do is provide for these poor, hungry, souls.
Hit it!
Ah one...
and a two...
and a three!
Troubled angry faces...
Confuse all about...
Tell me all of your concerns...
and I'll sort your problems out.
Well I use to be quite slim you see...
But thanks to the fast food industry...
I've gained some weight...
I'm big and fat...
What do you got ot say about that?
It's not our fault, our foods nutritious...
Somewhat fresh and quite delicious...
Your big fat mouth tells big fat lies...
So plug it up with our large fried thigh!
Independent buisnesses are hard to find...
Corporate whores you and your kind...
Force them all close up shop...
What about all the Moms and the Pops?
Screw those two bit corner stores...
We can offer so much more...
Leave those relics in the past...
Do you want quality...
or do you want it fast?
Mexicans with no green cards...
zit faced teens and poor retards...
On unskilled labor your buisness thrives...
While these poor folks...
bairly survive.
We pay them fair for what they do...
who wants to hire them, surely not you...
I'm a saint and I really care...
I keep those schmucks off welfare.
Fast foood is being advertised...
on childrens T.V. stations...
and being sold in elementary schools...
to kids across the nation.
toddlers eat fatty foods...
and keep shitty toys by plat star.
Mind control the population...
You corporate fiends you've gone too far...
Degenerate fucks, you've gone too far!
The kids learn to arithmatic...
by counting calories...
and looking at our menus...
helps them learn to read.
Little scientists can analyze...
the ingredients in our food.
As long as they don't tell Mom and Dad...
and get our asses sued!
So my friends don't fight temptation...
give yourselves some taste sensation...
Our Extreme Chicken Supreme is made with three different kinds of cheeses!
American Chicken Bunker!
We are more popular than Jesus!
(CROWD) Our Father, who art in heaven...
Hallowed be thy name...
(Announcer) Well Colonel Cluck has a better add campaign then Jesus.
This sucks!
And now the most important part ...
The "Secret Zest Sauce"
God, gross, I need a knapkin.
Is this what you're looking for?
A giant chicken! Please don't eat me!
No, no, take it easy!
Relax son.
I guess I giant evil chicken is a bit far fetched.
Hi, I'm Arbie...?
I haven't met you yet, this is my first day here.
When did you start?
I've always been here.
They said you can take smoke breaks every 2 hours.
You look young...
I was young once.
Full of hopes and dreams, until...
Until...
HEY! Who's tellin' the story schmuck?
I was going to go to college...
get a degree...
But Mom, Mom was a retard...
Dad got blind...
had to support them...
So I took this shitty job...
at American Chicken Bunker...
and been ther ever since.
But I don't mind
Another 13 years, I'll have enough money...
to be reunited with my best girl form college.
Wendy.
-I had a girlfriend named Wendy!
But ... now she's a lesbian.
Aren't they all are?
Oh man, this thong is chaffin' my balls.
Damn my crank I can't get it out of my....
(Thunder)
That's strange...
The weather man didn't say anything about....
Thunderstorms in windowless basements.
You see Humus...
I am doing this because I am a freedom fighter.
A Che Guevara, Martin Sheen and Janeane Garofalo...
rolled into one fabulous burrito...
of political activism.
By masterbating into this food...
I am waking up the world!
Viva la revolucion!
Oh Yeah!
La revolucion is cuming!
Ooooooohhhh
Ricky Martin, let me cum in your eye!
Humus, I respect your rights...
To pray and practice...
of a legend differnt from my own,
But that strange clucking sound is very distracting.
Can you at least pray facing that way.
After all, isn't Mecca over there?
Motha' Fucka'!
- Oh, Shiite!
Well Allah be a monk's uncle!
. The burka bimbo's a murderer!
It wasn't me!
It was a chicken!
Just like you people.
If it's not the Jews or the Americans...
Well then it must be the chickens, Huh!
HUH!
Hey man...
Did you hear that...
Screaming and grinding homosexual mexican...
dying a terrible death sound?
Look kid, don't waste your whole life here like I did!
Get out! Do something!
Alright... OK... Relax!
Now this just a temporary situation...
I got it all mapped out!
Sure you do.
Nigga Please...
Come gather round Arbie...
Now haven't you heard...
A carrier in fast food...
is like polishing turds.
It may shine like a diamond...
or sparkle a bit...
But a turd is a turd...
It's still just a shit!
I hear what you're saying you crazy ole' man...
but riches and bitches are part of my plan...
A career in fast food although at first it seems untrendy...
Might win me the heart of my dear Wendy.
Just look at me how pathetic I stand...
Alone in this land...
No chance for romance just my dick in my hand.
No chance for advancement, boy why can't you see.
Just minimum wage through rotisery.
So smarten up dumbass before it's to late...
Earn your B.F.A. or your ...
F
U
C
K-ed
A bachelors of fine arts is for rich snobby queers...
for me it's just debt for another 4 years...
I'm soring on wings fried golden brown...
on these flightless birds right out of this town.
So listen old man, why can't you see...
hydrogenated transfat, S.G. ...
+ Fosphoric acid means gravy to me.
Once I was young my strings were all strung...
but dreams and ambitions have all turned to dung...
I chose to fry now how dumb was I...
All that is left for me...
now is to...DIE!
Yeah well that's not for me I got a plan B!
I know it's legit it's get on TV...
I'll be all that I can be...
In the army!
You young punks you got brains of grits...
You only think with your dicks.
Well you old farts are depressing...
Now where's that ranch dressing?
Well see ya around old guy...
who seems to know alot about me for no aparent reason.
Oh and by the way...
you got served!
Now Dopey!
- Denny!
I believe the ninja.
Paco probably slipped on that unasuming chicken carcass.
Which is inexplicadly attached to the grinders on/off switch.
So get back to work everybody!
We got a franchise to run!
Sir, you can't be serious.
A man just died in there!
Shut your pie-hole, Dinky!
Take this camel jocky out back and hose her down!
When your clean, come back in here...
gather up all this meat...
and slap together three racks of...
Sloppy Pacos!
Oh Uh I mean ... Sloppy Joses.
Hey! Where's Paco?
Well ...
I gave him his afternoon off.
Okay
and counter girl!
Never ever leave your register.
Who knows what that mob of customers could be doing right now!?
Well, Duey ... - That's Denny!
Like the country!
Whatever. We're stayin' open.
But listen sir... - Now, now, now ...
Yeah I know, I know, I know
Sure, sure Paco had a horrible accident and died.
But don't worry...
American Chicken Bunker will pay him for the full day.
And for god's sakes, keep your yap shut.
All I need is for those Hippies out there to find out...
Somebody died here on opening day.
Even if it was just a...
Filthy...
Illiterate...
Homo-mexican.
My grandmama is goin' to be so mad!
Shit!
That Chicken...
The chicken has declared Jihad on us all!
Hey that reminds me.
I need to get tampon.
YEAH!
That's one baaaad chicken!
Hey Father O'Houlihan, back for seconds.
I don't mean to complain...
But there's a severed penis in me Sloppy Jose
That's weird
Well I'll tell you what.
You sir, are entitled to one free Sloppy Jose on the house.
I'll go get it for you.
You're a happy meal sent from above...
in this drive-thru called life deliver...
a heavenly slow fast food love.
Arbie!
How dare you let that priest nibble on my cock?!
What are you...
The Catholic Church!
Holy Shit! Is that you, Paco?
Well I ain't chopped liver?
Now scoop me off of this bun and give me a proper burial.
Trust me Homes..
You got enough pissed off spirits...
lookin' to take a bite out of your tight, tasty ass.
What are you talking about?
Look, Now that I'm dead...
I've decided to stop living a lie.
I'm gay Arbie.
As queer as a well known Scientologist Hollywood actor.
Now there is some bad shit heading your way. Honey.
Oh my God, what?
By building a ACB on sacred ground,
The General united two of the most disenfranchised races on the planet.
Displaced Native Americans...
and billions of chickens...
sent to the concertration coops.
There hasn't been such a leathal combination of...
of Chicken and Indians...
Since Tandoori was introduced to the American people.
Wait a minute!
Hold it!
Now.
What Scientologist Hollywood actor is gay?
Pay attention stupid!
If you fail, the virus will spread.
And those of you not infected...
Will be relocated to...
free range, white meat reservation coops.
Yeah right, that's good evil spirits!
I'll believe in the supernatural when I see it...
Talking sandwich!
Now excuse me
I have to serve the priest...
A penis-free Sloppy Jose!
You really are stupid!
just listen...
to stop them...
you must find thier one true weakness.
Which we all know is ...
Despite the claims of our critics...
Our food here at ACB...
is healthy and served fresh daily!
I hope you enjoy our new
My Lai "Massacre" Wallpaper
I just had it installed today.
Oh Look...
It's one of our beautiful "Counter girls"
Preparing one our famous Sloppy Jose.
Why don't you come on over here have one
I don't think you want to serve that Sloppy Jose, General!
Pay no mind to this "Sassy Lassy".
Our Sloppy Jose are delicious.
I eat at least one everyday.
Give me that!
And that's when I realized dropping out of Harvard law school...
To join the American Chicken Bunker team...
Was the right career decission for me.
To be with the ones I truely love...
Dead, partially thawed, uncooked carcasses.
Why are you so tense, Baby?
Why don't you have a little drink?
It'll loosen ya' up!
Oh oh I'm sorry Baby, I'm sorry.
Daddy didn't mean to hurt you.
What's that?
You want me to kiss you?
Well, okay ...
Wait, wait ...
Are you sure you want to do this?
We're still going to have to work together, afterwards and all.
And I do not want things to be wierd.
Alright, but I do insist on safety.
That is some grade A white meat!
Oh don't worry Carl Junior ain't adverst...
to takin' the back door.
Oh you want to talk dirty!
Oh I ain't adverst to hearing what's on your dirty, filthy, little...
Slut Chicken mind!
Easy, easy with the teeth!
Easy with the teeth!
I was goin' to pull out...
It just felt so good!
I'm exhausted!
But the place sparkles again.
Help Me!
get it off!
My cock!
What do I do?
The shis kebab psycho's done it again!
My franchise! My Grandmama Rose's savings.
I knew we should have invested in Google?
No, I was trying to help.
By fucking him to death with a mop??
Now if this was that Faggot-ass Paco Bell...
Then maybe I'd buy Humus, MAYBE I WOULD BUY IT!
B-B-B-BUT Carl Jr!
You just made me blow my only chance...
to earn enough money to own my own franchise.
Denny's.
Shit!
You know I ought to fire your ass!
You 9/11, World Trade Center crashin'...
Turbin wearin' moth*-
Stop!
This is not a terrorist thing.
And this not a sodomy thing.
This is an angry Chicken Indian spirit thing!
WHAT!
If we don't find away to stop them...
We're all going to have mops shoved up out butts!
We all take it in the dumper some time boy...
Only the strong will keep American Chicken Bunker runnin'
While the weak scury away.
Clenchin' their mud flaps closed.
Carl Jr?
Holy liabillity he's alive!
Get back to work everybody, he's fine!
Carl Jr, you all right?
Would you look at the size of my "Wood-Pecker"
Don't worry buddy, we're going to get you to a hospital and fix you up real good.
Humus, see if you find his rectum, I think it's over by the grill.
You're not takin' him anywhere!
Humus!
Drop that rectum.
But he will die!
Plus if Wendy sees me caring him out...
she might think I'm nice.
You think I'm going let you take a man...
With a mop shoved up his brown eye...
out in front of those hippies and TV cameras out there?
I would be ruined boy!
This is a man's life we're talkin' about!
A caring, loving memeber of this extended family...
We call humanity.
If you take me to see a doctor
Make sure he ain't no "Jew Bastard"
We'll maybe not so much with the caring and the loving.
Dicky! Humus!
Grab these chicken buckets and follow me!
Hardy! Red Lob! you heard what the man said, grab a bucket!
Here Carl Jr is have some of your whiskey.
That's odd...
Generally, I reckon I don't know what's goin' round here now.
Follow my lead son...
As Larry said Tudgeman Let them eat fried chicken!
Hold it down everybody, Hold it down now!
Now you all been out here for hours,
And I'd be angry too, if I hadn't eaten yet either.
That's why I want to make this here peace offerin'...
with free pieces of chicken!
If you think free chicken will win us over...
You are completly mad!
You are mad!
Mad to give away chicken this good!
It's delicious!
What about the Indians, the chickens, the protesting?
Wendy, this is bigger than all of us!
This chicken is the American dream!
I can hear American singing!
What?
It's just like my ole' Grandpappy use to say:
Hey Jr. !
Get over here with dem matches!
"This cross ain't goin' to burn it's self!
What?
Uh, I meant: "This chicken ain't goin' to eat itself!
Eat up everyone!
What are these tiny little bumps all over my chicken?
um those? Those are ...
Our new flavor pods!
flavor pods!
Eat everybodyl!
If you love what you are eatin' here...
You ain't ate nothin' yet!
Come on in!
What happened?
Well kid we did it!
It was near perfect!
Now that all the local nut jobs and P.E.
And all that free media coverage you got me,
American Chicken Bunker Empire is sure to grow and grow!
Oh, my little baby, you like it. Yes! Yes!
Baby loves it!
Baby like!
Baby is hungry! - Baby is hungry?
What the Hell ...?
It's not what it looks like!
Micki, how could you?
What? The fake protesting or baby powder thing?
Both.
My Little Wendy, you can be so naive
The future of this country, is branding and franchising.
There's no stopping it...
I decided to follow the money.
And fort he record...
Havin' a diapper fetish is a completely...
Normal...
Healthy...
and harmless bedroom activivty.
My God! I do not believe it!
Generall, I think you need to come and take a look at what's goin' on out there!
Who'd that A-rab kill now?
Th-the retarded counter girl.
Killed?
Arbie.
A-rab?
Retarded!
Wendy!
If your food is so delicious and nutrisious General, how do you explain this?
Everyone knows that Tromaville is the world capital of bulimia.
Try again.
Whatever it is it has nothing to do with American Chicken Bunker!
We produce only high quality...
Chicken flavored...
Food Stuffs!
Oh Yeah?
Well if it's such high quality Flavored "Food Stuffs"...
Why don't you eat it?
Fine.
You want to see the Genral eat the chicken?
Then the General is goin' to eat the chicken!
WShat's the matter, General?
You know something your loyal customers don't?
No, I just remembered my water aerobics in a half hour.
I can't afford to get cramps.
DO IT, GENERALl!
Well how is it? - It's fine.
It's fine it's better then fine...
It's delicious...
I'm lovin' it!
See! I told you there was nothin' to worry about!
Our food here at ACB...
every leg, every thigh...
is fresh, tasty and...
My God! My ass!
Get out of my way!
Get out!
What the Hell did I just drop?
Two can play att his game Mister!
I can't believe I left Arbie, for someone as horrible as you.
I should never have left you!
A stupid, smelly, jerk-face...
who as no respect for other peoples feelings...
and dumps the best thing she ever had...
for some phony-butch-hoes bag-lesbian fool!
What?
Hush now sweet, Wendy. I forgive you!
Do you hear something?
You guys notice anything wierd today? Because I ...
Whatthe Fuck is that?
It's the anger Chicano spirit!
This must be what Paco Bell warned us about!
They reanimated Carl Junior!
Let's get out of here!
General, who did this to you?
The Chicken!
The chicken's come back from the dead!
We got to get out of here!
I saw a bad chicken once.
I was delivering chickens to Indianapolis
You were on that delivery truck route in Indianapolis?
Oh My God ...
What happened?
A Japanese import slammed into us on I-90.
I was returning from a delivery ...
Grade A birds...
We was the bomb now!
1100 feathers went out onto the road...
Our tires went flat in about 12 minutes
didn't see the first chicken... for about a half ohur
Rooster one footer.
You know they say you can tell the size of a cock
By stairring it down from it's beak...
all the way to it's tail feather.
Nobody knew we was out on I-90 that night...
No distress signal had been sent.
didn't have cell phones back then...
Could afford a pager.
When they got the signal the chickens went cruizin'.
So that's when me and Larry...
That was the guy who was ridin' with me...
We formed ourselves into a tight circle...
and prayed that the chickens didn't see us.
Sometime a chicken would go away...
Sometime they not
That's the thing about a chicken, Arbie.
It's got "Dead" eyes ...
Black...
like a sex doll!
then there comes that...
Terrible ...
High pitched, Cluck...
Yeah, yeah just like that, Ar...aAAHHHHHH
Run!
that's my soccer leg!!
This restaurant is terrible!
I know it's fatting...
But I love the skin.
hate the skin!
My balls!
Make a wish
I wish I was a princess
Not on my face ...
Not on my fuckin' face!
God! Protect us!
You fuckin' feather-face can't fuck with me!
Big midgets got a big tool!
I've got bitch titties!
Die, You Zombie Bastard!!
Oops, sorry
Booya Bia-tch!!
You saved us! - It was not
Where did you get this gun?
I have a whole stash of them here.
I keep them here, witht children's toys.
I was gonig to be an alienated employee who kept to himself...
And went on a murderous rampage this afternoon.
After all how could I get name for myself.
Excellent dude! You're a total life saver!
Look out!
Fat elitist demon fuck!
Now we finish it!
With this bullet...
I put and end to the tyranny of American Chicken Bunker...
and a symbolic end to corporate greed!
Wait a minute. Yes?
Jambalaya! Craydaddy! Poboy! Gumbo! God Dammit!
He's turned into into a Blackened Cajun chicken!
Hey, Denny! - What?
You won the contest - Which?
The wet t-shirt contest, Motha' Fucka'!
They are very slowly approaching the entrance
We have to find a way to keep them out!
How? This place is 50% glass!
They will break through faster than the 5 minutes...
it took me to turn wendy into full blown lesbian.
We have to act before they turn the glass into...
Lesbians!
I've got it!
Well done, Wendy!
My nose ... - IHe's alive!
You hear me?
Of course, you dumb schmuck!!
He bit off my nose, not my ears!
You were a great man.
Let yourself slip into death
As the valiant warrior you are.
What the fuck are you talkin' about idiot?
I lead a shitiy life!
I was an A.C.B. counter girl for 25 years
Just like you'll be!
I am you you dumb prick! Don't you get it?
Change of life or you'll end up like me!
What do we do?
We should sneak out and run for our lives!
Wait, we can not leave
My daughter is gone, she's only 5 years
Help me, sir!
I am a girl, for Christ's sake!
Arbie, We can't leave the little crippled girl hear to die.
She's crippled too?
If it helps.
We have to find the girl, it ends now!
Or in about 15 minutes.
Suit yourself, because I am gettin' the Hell out of here!
Micki, Are you crazy?
One step outside and you are a hen pecked human.
Human? Yes.
But they will not attack a fellow bird.
We'll make better time if we split up.
We'll stay here and you look in...
that spooky and possibly chicken monster infested kitchen.
Sounds good.
What did you see?
I'lm going to kill you all!
Katie?
Cock-a-Doodle Dooo!
What do you waiting for? Kill it, beat it to death!
Wait, wait a second!
Carl Jr. it's me, Arbie.
I know somewhere deep with in the bowols of this creature you've become...
Lives the soul of the beautiful...
racist, animal fucking...
Inbreed trailer trash...
I know and loved!
So please tell us! How to stop them!
Whiskey!
Carl, I need you to focus.
first tell me how to kill them...
and then i'll give you a drink.
Alcohol, Arbie ... Alcohol.
Fine be an asshole!
OK, you got your booze Now rummy...
Tell us, how do we kill them!
I will not be ignored!
Come on, bastard! - Arbie ...
Arbie...
it's dead.
FUCK!
Well now we may never know!
That sounded like a...
featherd, market tested...
corporate mascot...
crashing through the back door!
Too the kitchen!
Oi Vei!
Micki!
What happened? We thought you escaped.
I tried, I almost made it.
I got to my car, then ...
As soon as someone dies you forget about ole' Arbie.
and then you go back to your lesbiotic ways!
I can't stand to watch this...
I'm gonig back to talk to the demon chicken.
I mean...
at least with the demon-chicken...
you know were you stand!
Oh GOD!!!!!
Micki!
What did those monsters do to you?
Let's get you out of this ridiculous Colonel Cluck get up.
You hear this? "No, no dear God please No!"
I'm mean give it up Wendy. Micki is dead!
No!
one minute she's with me...
then next minute she's all melodramatic about her dead girlfriend!
Girls are so fucking fictle!
It drives me nuts
I hear ya' dog!
But there is an off chase that Micki has turned into a demon...
and is trying to killing Wendy right now!
I doubt that!
You know what...
I'm going to suck it up and bethere for her.
You go, boyfriend!
Oh God Wendy!
That is sick having sex with a corpse!
No you moron!
She's turned into one of the Demons!
DUH!
Get off my girlfriend...
You Casino owner...
Carpet munching...
DEMON!
How do I get you off!?
I will get you off!
Ill beat you off!
I will choke the chicken!
I'm goin to choke the chicken!
Come-off...
Please God come...
AHHHHH!!!!
Well looks like my job here is done.
Thirsty?
I'll have some punch!
Humus, help us ...
(Arabic Music)
By the power of Allah,
I HAVE THE POWER!!!
Please don't hurt us.
Look at Barry Bonds now!
Stay behind me, my children
For I have the power of the Christ!
The power of the Christ compells you!
The box office power of Mel Gibson, compells you.
Hail Satan? - No!
Mazel Tov!
Silly Priest!
Everyone knows there's no such thing as Jesus.
Let's aproach in a slow and menacing way.
Arbie, look ...
Beer!
Wendy you fucking drunk!
Now is not the time!
Wendy!
Do you remember when I asked the Carl Jr. Zombie...
How to kill the monsters?
And he was like: "Alcohol"
Then he died.
Well I was thinking...
what if he wasn't really being a Dick...
and he was trying to tell me...
that alcohol kills the them?
Now, The reason I think this is...
when we first met the Chief...
He was drunk and couldn't form a coherent sentence.
Then...
when the Paco Bell sandwich...
told me that Indians had possed the chickens...
and the only way to stop them...
was to use their only one true weakness...
well that got me thinking.
going down on Micki...
Well not really, I was still picturing you...
But!
then when you said: "Arbie look beer!"
And then I accused you of being a Fucking drunk.
That got me thinking...
Native Americans have an intolerence for...
I did it! I killed them!
We're alive!
I knew it!
Alcohol!
Everyone know that Native Americans are fucking drunks.
I mean...
As soon as the indians were tricked...
into becomnig addicted to the white mans fermented beverages...
It spelled disaster for these proud, proud people.
And that's their one true weakness.
Next to small pox of course.
This Buds for you!
Tastes great less filling!
Tap into the Rockies Bitch!
Looks like a pump, feels like a sneeker!
Cha, cha, ching, motherfuckers!
Cha, cha, cha, chia!
Awesome!
Shit!
It's stuck! - God Dammit!
Hey!
Humus din't you die?
Follow me!
no time to explain.
Let's go!
The little girl!
This...this is an egg!
Guys this is an egg here, it's not Katie.
I found her!
Don't be affraid little katie, we won't let anything bad happen to you.
That's right.
We won't let those awful chickens do to you...
what they did to your mothers bloody decapicated corpse.
Mommy!
Arbie! Why would you say something like that?
Yeah, Counter grrrrrrrl!
What would make you say somethin' like that?
It's Ariel Sharon!
Dear God, no!
We are trapped. We're dead
I know, Wendy.
But I just want you to know that...
I realize now why you left me.
Besides the fact that I had...
the social skills and mental skills of a...
Shit covered Mongoloid...
I had no drive, no ambition.
I used my parents disabilities as an excuse to avoid college...
To avoid growing up.
What I know is...
You need a man, not a boy.
A man to drive you, a man to inspire you.
A man support you in the emotional way...
Not financially, to be clear
A man to complete you.
One more minute...
A man who loves and respects you
Even if that man you chose, was a woman!
If we make it through this, I want you to know...
I can be that woman. I ...
You had at "Shit covered Mongoloid"
Oh, Wendy!
Dinner!
Frightning human faces, bodies strewn about...
Would you like a last resquest, before I peck your eyeballs out!
Mr Chicken have compation!
Before our bone, you start mashin'
Can't you see that we're in love!
SorryI don't give a fuck!
We just came to fuck shit up!
You show no love for the red skin man...
you came, you saw, you raped our land!
You white devils are a fiendish breed...
you know not love, just death and greed!
But I love Arbie yes it's true...
The Indians and chickens we love them too!
Bullshit, that's just pillow talk...
You lied to us at Plymoth Rock!
The last thing you hear is our squak!
The white man has destroyed our race...
You spit in Mother nature's face!
Flightless birds you love to eat...
Consume you now...
The new...
White...
Meat!!!
I'll be with you in just a minute...
I have gas, I must ...
I have heartburn ...
He's gonig to explode!
Well that was anit-cilamatic. - Yeah.
I guess he couldn't handle Mexican!
Paco you're a hero!
Actually Arbie he's a grinder.
No that's how he died, he's a sub.
I may like to be filled with Seamen...
But I ain't no submarine.
Enough of these snadwich jokes...
But we're on a roll!
No, I am!
They're coming in!
we have a choice:
we can either escape out back and let the demons take over the world.
or we can stand up and fight, as we try to save humanity.
I'm kind of leaning towards the former.
We can't let them destroy America!
I say we fight!
Destroy America!
Over my dead body!
God Dammit!
Holy Mother of God! Hummus so you're HOT!
I just want to fuck you!
Give me head, right now!
No! There must be another way.
Go Arbie, you and Wendy must go on.
Let your love blossom.
and always remember:
Judge not lest you be judged yourself!
I kill myslef so Demorcacy may servive!
May Allah bless America!
Die, mother Fuckers!
Paco, let's go! -No, I 'm staying.
America isn't ready to except a gay, mexican, chicken sandwich!
Crap! I forgot to punch out my time card.
I'll be right back.
No!
Humus did it!
She martyred herself to aradicate
The Chicken/Native American menace!
Oh Humus I hope you get those 72 Virginians
Because they are for lovers!
The Chief!
He's turned into one of the undead!
No, he's just loaded. Let's go home.
Lie down, honey
Here this will help you relax.
We'll get you to safety.
oh Arbie, you were so brave! - We all were.
And by sticking together...
we rid the world of those insidious beasts.
You know it's time we start living our lives right.
No more dead end jobs for Arbie.
We're safe and sound and the future never looked brighter.
And I've learned that...
protesting big buisness is narrow minded and miss guided.
Maybe by pointing my finger at the...
corporate elite and special interest groups...
I've just been running away for my own insecurities.
Isn't that right little girl?
Uh-Huh.
Arbie, I don't feel... so...good.
It must be beer tailkin' -Yeah